10/12/01

Curse Of The Vampires AKA Creatures Of Evil (1970. Philippines. Retromedia. Directed by Gerardo de Leon. Widescreen. Mono. 85 minutes. Extras: Original theatrical trailer. Vintage Drive-In movie spots. “Drive-In Antics” with Fred Olen Ray and Miss Kim.). The family in this super low budget bottom of the drive-in bill feature has a bit of a problem. A man keeps his wife chained in the basement, because she’s a vampire. When she’s not being whipped, she gets loose to wreak havoc. Soon the entire family suffers for its evil secrets. The creepy sets look good, the cast makes overacting an art form, and the movie is actually daring enough to infer there might be some incest between the brother and sister. One would never call this a “good” movie, but for devotees of the ghetto level of drive-in era films Curse Of The Vampires will certainly satisfy most demands. Don’t expect a pristine digital transfer, since this is as dark and murky as it originally looked in outdoor theaters.

Erotic Rites Of Countess Dracula (2001. USA. Seduction/EI Cinema. Directed and written by Donald F. Glut. Cast: Brick Randall, Del Howison, Charlie, Meredith Rinehart, Nicole Liberty, Julia Anna Thurman, and William Smith. Widescreeen. Stereo. Extras: Behind the scenes footage, commentary from Donald Glut, and trailers). I wish I had nice things to say about this, but the bad points certainly outnumber the good. Things start out in the sixties. A hippie woman (Brick Randall) is on the verge of making her first record. Dracula (William Smith) spoils things by taking a little bite out of her. Actually, he takes a big bite, drawing enough blood to kill her and turn her into a creature of the night. Into the present and she’s still a vampire looking for a cure. Her quest is merely an excuse for a series of lesbian encounters. The widescreen shot on video looks great as do most of the sets. But, the story isn’t really interesting and the actors are too often amateurish. It doesn’t take long to realize what we have here is a nice looking movie without much substance.

Humanoids From The Deep (1980. USA. Produced by Roger Corman. Directed by Barbara Peeters. Cast: Doug McClure, Ann Turkel, Vic Morrow, Cindy Weintraub, Anthony Penya, Denise Galik, and Lynn Theel. Fullscreen. Stereo. 82 minutes. Extras: Trailer, cast biographies, and previews.). Those who can’t stand CGI and long for days of actors wearing monster suits should find Humanoids From The Deep very entertaining. A small fishing village has had a run of bad luck. The fish aren’t biting and a cannery is trying to move in, threatening to change everyone’s way of living. Most of the townspeople are in favor of change, since it’ll bring money into the town. But, the local Indians are totally opposed. Doug McClure plays the good egg and Vic Morrow is the nasty, racist bad guy. None of this really matters when it becomes clear the town has an even bigger problem lurking on its horizon. It will soon be attacked by sea monsters! Not only do these creatures like to kill men, but they want to have sex with all the women--it’s the only way they can keep reproducing. There are plenty of wild scenes of monsters ripping the clothes off girls and doing the nasty with them. Humanoids From The Deep is sick fun.

Island Of Dr. Moreau (1977. USA. MGM. Directed by Don Taylor. Cast: Burt Lancaster, Michael York, and Barbara Carrera. Widescreen 1.85:1. Mono. 1 hour 39 minutes. Extras: Original trailer.). I remember being slightly bored with this version of Island Of Dr. Moreau when it was first released. My feelings have softened quite a bit since viewing this DVD. Michael York is drifting at sea when he happens upon Dr. Moreau’s island. Immediately, things seem peculiar. Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster) is doing bizarre experiments of cross breeding animals with humans. It’s not long before Michael York is an unwilling participant in these wicked experiments. The island location shots look great, the make-up on the creatures (especially as we watch Michael York evolve into a man-beast) is bone chilling, and the acting is wonderful. As can be expected from other titles in MGM’s Midnight Movies series, the widescreen transfer is impeccable. The Island Of Dr. Moreau is based on a H.G. Wells’ novel. Not bad at all. I’m glad I got the opportunity to re-evaluate my original opinion of The Island Of Dr. Moreau.

Phantom From 10,000 Leagues (1955. Retromedia. Directed by Dan Milner. Cast: Kent Taylor, Cathy Downs, Michael Whalen, Rodney Bell, Phillip Pine, and Helene Stanton. Fullscreen. Mono. 80 minutes. Extras: Drive in antics with Fred Olen Ray & Miss Kim, original trailer, vintage drive in intermission spots, and stills gallery.). I have a weakness for bad fifties films that star stupid looking monsters. The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues has got an underwater monster created by a well meaning, yet misdirected scientist, spies, and a silly love interest. The script is so stilted it sounds as if it were meant for a radio play. Personally, I find this all very entertaining. However, I don’t have a problem with anyone who thinks I’m nuts for liking The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues. I’m just hoping enough of you will feel the same way, so more of these cheap old movies will come out on DVD.

Sexy 6th. Sense (2001. Seduction Cinema/EI. Directed by Terry West. Cast: Barbara Joyce, Darian Caine, Josh Robinson, Esmerelda DeLarocca, Jade DuBoir, and Dennis Stefura. Fullscreen. Stereo. Extras: Behind the scenes footage, interviews, and trailers). The gang at Seduction Cinema have been doing a bang up job spoofing Hollywood Blockbusters. Under the direction of Zachary Winston Snygg, they’ve released a batch of hilariously sexy satires, including ones of Gladiator and Survival. Funny stuff. It’s also very erotic. Sexy 6th. Sense is okay in the eroticism department--it’s always nice to see Darian Caine and Esmerelda DeLarocco frolicing in their birthday suits. But, it’s humor is forced. There’s decent enough eye candy, but its story lacks depth. As disappointed as I might be with Sexy 6th. Sense, I’m still anxiously awaiting Seduction Cinema’s forthcoming Playmate Of The Apes and Misty Mundae Meets The Mummy!

If you have DVDs/Videos you’d like to see reviewed at Video Crypt, please send promos to Chip Lamey c/o Video Crypt, P.O. Box 54, Stone Harbor, N.J. 08247.